The Massage

I'll start with the good news first:

I haven't gotten sick and it doesn't look like I will (somebody knock on some wood). Our room is the only one with a working airconditioner which is great for those extra hot days. Overall everything seems to be falling in place just perfectly.

On to the more "interesting" news:

I'm completely over Indian food. Right now---as I type this---I can't see myself eating it anymore but I'm afraid I don't have much of a choice. There's simply not much else around.

I'm craving something fresh like a salad or anything for that matter other than bread, paneer and daal. It is mostly vegetarian which helps but it seems as though everything is made with milk, cream, and/or cheese.

I narrowly avoided a fight with a gang of monkeys over at the ghat where we all swim.

Apparently, they don't like direct eye contact and they are not afraid to get a little aggressive. They are kind of like that bad nephew of yours that you don't quite feel safe with. You'll be joking around with him one day and he'll take it seriously and give you the look that is subtext for "I'll kill you if you keep f-ing with me."

Well that's the look I was getting from the monkeys for staring. I looked away, and after some heavy tension he and his boys backed away.

Whew! Almost got my ass kicked by a gang of monkeys! I've seen it happen once already to this one tourist guy and believe me it wasn't not pretty...

And finally there's the business of this massage I just got about half an hour ago from Bob the friendly barber.

I was speaking to Bob the other day after my haircut and he was telling me that he does full body massage. "Really???" I excitedly replied. "How much?" 300 rupees he answered. That's about 8 bucks US. "And how long does 300 rupees buy me?" One hour. "You have a table?" Yes, or course. "Cool. Let's do it!"

Cut to 1 hour ago. I get a knock on the door at the designated hour and its Bob the barber. I look behind him and I don't see a table. In fact he doesn't have anything with him. I'm thinking, "okaayyy."

Bob walks in and then I notice a bulge in his back pocket. Its his oil. I'm guessing we are going to use my little twin bed and the sheets on my twin bed since he apparently didn't have any.

He suggested rolling a yoga mat onto the dusty floor and doing the massage there but I quickly vetoed that idea.

So we settled on using the bed.

I was already naked under my doti, but then Bob started taking his pants off. He was wearing underwear.

Next he took the rag that was wrapped around his oil bottle and wrapped it around his waist. Meanwhile, I went and got my only 2 towels and spread them across the mattress, not really knowing what to expect.

Next I tentatively lie on my back with my doti covering my privates... only because I didn't know what the custom was.

Bob moved my makeshift draping up past my belly as if it was in the way and started lathering my thighs up in oil. He must have poured out half the bottle.

Then he started rubbing oil much closer to my pubic area than was ever allowed in my massage school, and I thought about saying something.

Then I started to wonder if I had overlooked some kind of secret password in my conversation with Bob. Was he expecting something more than a massage from me?

Just then, Bob the barber began working his way down my legs and later had me flip over onto my stomach.

Again, he poured a very generous amount of oil on my lower back and butt cheeks, climbed ontop of the bed, squatted over me and started massaging the oil into my butt cheeks.

This was the same song, second verse. It wasn't so inappropriate that I felt the need to stop the massage but it was way past ordinary boundaries by western standards---unless you're having one of "those" types of massages, which I didn't think I was having. But I wasn't sure.

The rest of the massage flew by. I'm sure the whole bottle of oil had to be empty by the end of the entire thing. And parts of the massage felt soothing. Parts felt amateur. All in all it was a decent experience.

Bob mentioned that he has a wife and two kids. Even still---if he told me he was into men I wouldn't have been surprised.

After Bob left I hosed off in a cold shower (no hot water here) and put on some fresh clothes, went downstairs and got some fresh linens and towels and changed everything out.

On to the next adventure...

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